Kim and Shego save the world
by Feudor
Summary: Another one-shot. A sort of drastic and slightly OOC view of a possible future of Kim and Shego conflicts. Mostly weird. Dunno why I wrote this, actually...


Kim Possible. Me no own. Me use anyway. Uh-huh?

Not for profit. Disney don't mind. Right?

You read, you like, you review! Okay?

All righty, then!

**==##0##==**

**Kim and Shego Save the World. **

ZZAPP!

The sudden bright flash left her all but blinded. The accompanying sound rang in her ears as the floor dropped out from under her. The world disappeared.

A second later, she hit the deck in a defensive fighting stance, ready to face whatever this strange sitch required.

She was, after all, Kim Possible. She could, really, do almost anything. Nothing surprised her, except – occasionally – the Tweebs (when they did something nice).

She could smell no animals or people around her. If there were any poisons in the air, they had to be of the odourless kind. The currents of air across her skin did not reveal any movement close by. No vibrations in the floor could be felt through the soles of her feet.

OK, perhaps no immediate action was called for.

Her gradually returning sight showed her that she had somehow been instantaneously transported to a large, oval hall with a high domed ceiling. The room was almost featureless, making it hard to judge distances, but it seemed to be the size, if not the shape, of a soccer field.

The floor was made of some smooth, grey metal. The walls and ceiling were much the same, but of a slightly lighter shade of grey. A strong but diffuse light showed a lot of nothing. No rivets, no gaps, no doors and no windows. If there were hidden cameras or observation ports, they were just that: hidden and invisible.

Kim stood a bit straighter and started making a full circle observation of her surroundings. A large featureless hall. No big. Empty, except for …

A figure lay sprawled on the floor about 10 meters away. The long, black hair was a bit frizzled, as if by static electricity, but otherwise everything looked all too familiar. Thus, it was no surprise when the figure suddenly sat up and revealed her identity.

"Sssheeego! I should have known! So this is the newest brain-glitch scheme of Dr. Dork, I take it?"

"Why, hello there, Princess. Fancy meeting you here! Sorry to disappoint, though, but Dr. D. has nothing to do with this!"

"And how would you know? You never listen to what he says, anyway!"

"True. I value my sanity. But I can distinguish between his ranting mode, and his 'not ranting'. And lately, there's been a lot of 'not ranting', so he ain't planning nuttin'!"

"Oh, come on! I admit the lair is cleaner and less cluttered than usual, but what else could it be? I mean, here I am, and there you are! Just as usual!"

"Yeah, here we are; but still: Not a Drakken plan!"

"Hm. Well, pardon me if I'm not altogether convinced... "

"Why, Pumpkin, you do know that I don't lie all the time!"

"You would if you could! But, anyway, what now?"

"Well, either we call a truce and try to get out of here, or else ... we fight!"

"Truces are for wimps, Sheegie! And besides, I feel like hurting you real bad, today!"

"OK, fight, it is! Just bring it, Kimmie-cub!"

They instantly dropped into their fighting stances and started circling, looking for openings. As if on a given signal, they both burst into action. Kim suddenly unleashed a high kick towards Shego's windpipe, while Shego loosed a punch at her opponent's solar plexus. They were instants away from causing major injuries, when ...

ZZAPP!

The flash was as blinding as before, but now there was also something that pushed them apart. It was a bit like having two magnets too close the wrong way, a soft but quite forceful repulsion. They both ended up on the floor, sitting on their behinds, somewhat disoriented.

"What the h*** was that?! Shego, what did you do?"

"Me? I didn't do nothing!

"Really? This is all part of the 'not-Drakken' plan, then, I take it?"

"Well, I don't care how you take it, Princess! Something stopped me from hitting you, and I don't take kindly to be thwarted in my intentions!"

Kim Possible sighed. "No big, Sheegsie, let's just try again!"

This time, they went about it a little more methodically, circling and feinting, each trying to gain the upper hand. The strategy was partly successful, in that they managed to avoid the flash and getting thrown to the floor thingie, but they still didn't manage to get close enough to do any damage. Some invisible force seemed determined to keep them apart.

In the end, they ended up on the floor again, trying to close the distance by crawling forward inch by inch.

It felt like invisible rubber bands where pulling them apart. No matter how they tried, they could not get to grips with each other.

There was still a foot and a half to go when Kim gave up.

Shego, however, decided to try something else.

"Bugger this, I'll just fry you to a crisp instead," she declared. She stood up and called upon her plasma power with a dramatic gesture, a bit like a baseball pitcher.

Kim was already moving when Shego's hand shot forward to throw a melon-sized ball of glowing plasma, and she knew she would have to be lucky to avoid the blast.

And perhaps it was luck, but the plasma never connected. Instead, it hit an invisible barrier, like a slightly convex mirror, and bounced back to envelope Shego in a green conflagration of flames.

Shego of course did not get seriously hurt by her own plasma, but it singed her clothes and frazzled her hair. She even got a bit of soot on her face.

Kim found this highly amusing.

"Bwahaha! In yer face, Kermit, in yer face!

"Shut it, brat! It ain't funny!

But Kim couldn't keep quiet. She started doing the MC Hammer dance, singing 'You can't touch this!' in a silly, teasing voice.

Shego huffed, and decided to try something else.

She directed a powerful shot of plasma at a random part of the wall, wanting to see if she could blast herself out.

The slightly curved, grey metal walls, however, turned out to reflect the green energy beam just as perfectly as the invisible shield that had protected Kim. The blast ricocheted around the chamber for a surprisingly long time, prompting Kim and Shego to some frenzied ducking and jumping.

Eventually, the energy dissipated.

"Holy shit, Shego! Don't do that again!"

"What, so you're gonna stop me, are you? Puh-lease!"

The two women remained standing, looking at each other in thought.

"Look, Pumpkin, we may be going about this the wrong way. Something is obviously stopping us from hitting each other. Let's find out how this works. Can we touch at all, do you think?"

She held her right hand up. Kim sighed and extended her left, palm forward. Soon, they held hands like they were about to go ballroom dancing.

"Okay, that works. It must be some sort of intelligent force-field. Can it be geared to our thoughts? Our hostility?"

Kim put her other arm around Shego's waist.

"So, as long as we don't intend to fight, it will let us touch? Well, so what? That won't get us out of here."

Shego moved closer and snaked her hand up behind Kim's shoulders.

"Well, it punishes us if we fight; maybe we get a reward if we're nice?"

There gazes locked, noses just inches apart.

"Like we've been naughty and sent to our rooms? And have to show we're friends before we are let out again?"

Kim snuggled up to Shego and whispered the words in her ear. Shego answered in a bedroom kind of voice.

Was this a watershed kind of moment? Could they bury the hatchet after years of fighting and actually cooperate?

"Yes, but I think I can fool it. You notice how I have my fingers at the base of your skull right now? You realize it will take me just a fraction of a second to fry your brains? Whaddaya say I test if it can stop me now?"

"Oh, Shego! You think I fell for that? You can't see it, but I have my hidden dagger behind your back, ready to thrust it through your heart in an instant!"

"What, Princess?" Shego whispered hoarsely. "You think you're fast enough?"

"I don't know, do I? I only know that the instant I feel a tingle of heat in my scalp, the blade goes between your ribs. Do you think _you're_ fast enough to avoid that?"

"Well, the instant you prick my skin, you're brain loaf, no matter what happens then."

They embraced silently for a while, assessing the situation. Finally, Shego sighed.

"So, a Mexican stand-off, is it?"

"Right! Either we both back off, carefully, or it's an instant stab and fry fest..."

"So, you wanna back down, Pumpkin?"

Kim thought about it. Trust Shego to back down? And further, work together with Shego to solve the riddle of their sitch?

"Never! You do know I really, really hate you, don't you? Like, _hate_ you, hate you? It's your fault Ron left me!"

"That may be what you tell yourself," Shego sneered. "Doesn't make it true, though. He just plain had enough of you, and who can blame him? Little Miss I-Can-Do-Anything, eh?"

"Never, I say! And it wasn't my fault Drakken got hurt, either! He should have been more careful with his self-destruct contraptions!"

"Don't bullshit me, Kimmie-cub. I saw what happened, didn't I? I saw who pressed the big red button!"

It was Kim's turn to sigh. "So, no surrender, right?"

"Nope! I've never, ever backed down, before. Why should I start now, when I could take you with me?"

Kim kissed Shego softly on the cheek. "So, on the count of three, then?"

"Yeah! See ya in hell, Princess!"

And so, softly together: "One … two … "

ZZAPP!

==##0##==

Thud!

Professor Landau stopped his lecture mid-sentence and let his eyes roam over the auditorium.

"Yes, what is it now? Could we please manage to go through the basics of the DLVO theory of colloidal stability without interruptions, please?"

At the back of the hall, a person with red hair rose from the floor and peeked over the backrest of the chairs in front of her.

"Ah, Miss Possible, of course. What is it _this_ time? Evil scientists? Mad golfers? Cat in a tree?"

"Sorry, prof.! Just nodded off a bit, and fell to the floor."

"Miss Possible, if you are so tired, I would suggest you get yourself some sleep, and preferably IN YOUR OWN BED!"

"Aw, professor. You have such a soothing voice! I sleep much better here!"

The rest of the students chuckled and giggled at one of the usual verbal sparrings between Kim Possible and a member of the faculty.

Professor Landau covered his eyes with his right hand. "Miss Possible," he said resignedly, "please go away. And see me in my office after 5 o'clock. We need to have a serious conversation about your studies!"

"Spankin'! Talking about studies sure beats the studying itself!"

There was general but subdued amusement throughout the hall. Professor Landau groaned, at the loosing end of the banter once again. The door slammed behind the retreating Kim Possible, but the sound of her manic laughter could still be heard.

"Bwoahahaha! Sooo close! Next time, Shego, next time!"

==##0##==

ZZAPP!

Crash!

Dr. Drakken turned his wheelchair around to face the noise. It came from the lair kitchen, and sounded like all the china and half of the cutlery had just fallen to the floor.

There were no henchmen in the lair anymore, so it could only be one person that had caused the ruckus. This presented Dr. D. with a familiar conundrum.

Shego just might have had some sort of accident, and would want him to come and help her.

On the other hand, she might just be her usual angry self, losing her temper doing the breakfast dishes, and the last thing she'd want was for him to come and poke his nose in it.

Whatever he did, there was a frighteningly big chance he'd do the wrong thing and end up fried. Furthermore, without the use of his legs, he depended on Shego for all sorts of care, and did not want to piss her off.

So: go to help her and risk that she didn't want him to? Ignore her and risk being seen as failing to have her back?

Well, at least he had figured out his strategy in these situations a long time ago.

It all came down to timing. If he tried to help her and she didn't appreciate it, he would get an immediate reaction, which he would be prepared for. He could always try to duck. If he didn't show up when she wanted him to, though, he could be blasted in revenge anytime in the near future, and it would come as lightning from a clear sky.

He sighed, and rolled over to the kitchen door.

"You all right in there, Shego?"

Shego was sitting in the wreckage of what had been the kitchen table, surrounded by broken glass and tableware. She didn't seem to need help, though. In fact, she burst out in a cackle that would have shamed all the efforts of Drakken and Dementor together in the mad villainous laughter department.

"Bwoahaha! Oh, sooo close! Next time, Princess, next time!"

Drakken rolled away on quiet rubber wheels, happy at, for once, escaping an interaction with his sidekick without third degree burns.

==##0##==

The space probe accelerated out of the latest solar system on its voyage of discovery. The scientific officer sent his report via sub-space transmission, as usual. This time, though, he felt it best to also report to the Council through the vid-link system.

As always, five of the seven council members were at their post.

"Yes, Captain?" the most senior of them asked. "Another failure?"

"Another negative result, yes. I think I should explain this one in person, though."

"Go on!"

"Well, as you will be able to see from the data I just sent, the planet seemed very suitable. Atmosphere, temperature, local flora and fauna; it was all compatible with our needs. The civilisation was almost at stage 2B, with rudimentary space technology, and a semblance of a governing structure."

"Sounds exactly right for colonisation and enslavement, then. Was the planet rich in natural resources?"

"Yes, it was. However, we felt the need to do a final evaluation. After the disaster of Betelgueze II, we did not want to take any risks."

"Wise decision. So, you did a behavioural assessment?"

"Yes. We selected two individuals at random and placed them in the test chamber."

"Don't tell me they managed to figure it out? A 2B civilisation?"

"No, that wasn't the problem. What happened, instead, was that the two specimens failed to interact in any constructive way. They couldn't cooperate, and they didn't even begin to investigate the challenge."

"They didn't? Why?"

"Well, it seems this species is totally focused on aggression. Even in this situation, they wouldn't stop fighting. We even had to beam them out before they killed each other."

"I see. And your assessment?"

"Well, the species evidently lacks the ability to react to outside challenges in a realistic way. They did, in fact, not understand the nature of their predicament at all. Their only answer was violence."

"So – they would not accept our rule, then, is that what you are saying?"

"Yes, Councillor, that is our conclusion. If they couldn't stop their fighting in this controlled environment, they would probably never stop their aggression under our administration either. We would never get them to perform any useful labour. Worse, even when shown the futility of resistance, they would almost certainly continue to resist us."

The Head of the Council sighed.

"That is indeed unfortunate. Still, it was a good thing that you found this out before we committed to colonisation. It could have proved costly."

"Yes, Councillor, that was what we thought."

"Thank you, Captain. You did well. Let us just hope, for all our sakes, that you find a more suitable target soon."

And the space vessel continued on its way, leaving the earth in peace.

==##0##==

A.N.: Well, there we have it. A Kim & Shego, but definitely not a KiGo story. Quite the opposite, in fact. An extrapolation of what could happen if their continued conflicts were to become embittered by some bad consequences. Please don't hurt me. This is just a 'what if' story, and not my preferred view of the KP universe!


End file.
